Beginners Guide: Positive Mindset Checklist

Picture Taken By: Amanda Hirsch, Sunsetting @ 8:15 pm

Hello Warriors!

I had a really rough night last night due to not being able to sleep; however, I came up with a lot of new ideas to write about. What I keep forgetting to put on my blog is this, a positive checklist you can go through everyday to make sure you're heading in a happy direction of your choice. I have ADD so I know that when I don't have a structured schedule throughout my day I feel as if I'm stuck in a rut. Since I didn't mention the recent choice of leaving my past full-time nanny job, I have been feeling left in the dark so to speak. I was talking to my psychologist and she mentioned the thought of not having a schedule due to no job. She gave me the idea of making a checklist every night before waking up the next day. I know some of you have very busy lives with work/school etc. but there is always room for a little something here and there.

Here is an example I created for you all:

• When waking up, remind yourself of a positive affirmation you want to set for your day. (Ex: I AM fearless. I AM grateful. I AM love) 
• Remind yourself that your body needs some sort of quiet time in a day of any activity. Take a quick break for yourself and your mind, you can take a look at the sky/ clouds or find a focal point and let your mind wander. This can also be a time for meditation and mental awareness if that's within your practice. 
• Help others, even if you are feeling absolutely lousy, there is always enough time to hold a door for someone, help carrying heavy objects, or even giving a compliment to a stranger. Often doing something for someone else continues the acts of kindness, maybe they'll pass along the kindness to someone else? Also, it helps you as well. 
• Love- Remind your mind, and body that you love yourself! You were blessed with a body and a beautiful soul. Make sure your body is aware that it is loved. Don't forget that going throughout your day, it is OKAY to show others that you come into contact with love as well. Little actions and words can honestly make someone smile and change their whole perspective about their day. 
• Honor your body- Just like giving yourself love, make sure you remind your body that you care for it. Prepare healthy and nourishing meals throughout your day. Don't go through big parts of your day without filling your tank with something fulfilling. Keep your heart AND stomach full💖
• Keep moving- Go out for a walk! Or if you don't have time for exercise, clean a little around your house/etc. Organize, and don't stop! In the end, your body and mind will thank you for using your energy towards something healthy. Whether it's breaking a sweat or working your mind, it feels good to work hard!
• Lastly... Be open! Whether you've set high expectations in your day and you're feeling disappointed or angry about the outcome, tell yourself you did YOUR best today. Let go of the worry in your mind, and embrace the positive aspects that came in return. 

I love how this checklist incorporates everything in one's day that will help fill that spot in our heart and mind. It's important to know that even if the slightest negative thing happens, we can turn it around in an instant. I struggle with the fact that if I drop my coffee, slip and fall, or my card declines and I'm embarrassed, I always end with the big words THE WORLD IS ENDING in my head. They don't stop until I stand up and yell shut up. I struggle with a disorder that doesn't give me the ability to comprehend that some things don't go well in my days, and I need to move past it. I still struggle with the fact that this doesn't mean my life is over, or I need to sulk for the rest of the day, I tend to think life is supposed to be perfect, but mine isn't. I am no longer thinking in this way due to exercise, positive self talk, and meditation. I still fallback on my previous ways and it still is a never ending war, but typing this out for others to see and knowing I'm not alone is a really good feeling. 

No matter what obstacles you go through, remember to look at this checklist or a checklist of your own (it doesn't matter), just as long as it works for you. Incorporating these into your actions really gives a structure for your mind. It reminds you that you can do work and exercise as well as incorporating positive messages within every step of your day. 

Hold a door open for someone, buy someone in line behind you their order, tell the cashier lady that they are wonderful at their job, grab some food/jackets/hats/etc. and hand them out to people on the street near you. Any of these ideas pass along kindness, they create love, and we can never have enough love in this surrounding world of hate. Stand up for the girl in the neighborhood being bullied, help someone take their groceries to their car, or simply just smile at strangers passing by. There are so many actions we can all take, and if you are scared because you'll be the only one, don't worry... there are always people watching and silently thinking "I want to pass that along."

Be fearless, set goals, take action, and don't let anxiety bring you down.

Take The Reins

So sorry to post so late but I've been up thinking about some things that have been on my mind. For starters, I haven't been posting on here and my Facebook page as much as I want to. I want to help as many people as I can but the thing that has to come first is me. My mental health has been struggling a little bit these past few months. I had a job with kids I absolutely loved as if they were my own and I was belittled by the parents. I always felt like I had to watch my every move when I was around them and if I made one mistake it would not ever be accepted. Thinking about me as a person, I do not stand for being treated as if I were stupid, told I need to be perfect, or worse; that I cannot be myself. Therefore, in closing that statement, I do not have a job as a nanny anymore. To be honest, I'm so excited to finally take a breath. ongoing for 9 hours throughout the day is exhausting. I'm only 19 years only and they would expect so much from me that I actually had major anxiety about it at night that it disrupted my sleep. Everything I did was never good enough no matter how hard I tried, it felt as if I were in high school again and my teachers telling me I would never get anywhere in life. Well guess what?! I sure did get somewhere in my life, I'm focusing on me and how to better myself and those who are around me. So I do not need the hassle of having to please unpleasable people anymore, I have plenty on my mind already with 3 online college courses, horseback riding, and working out. I started running two laps around my neighborhood every night which is an average of 2 miles, I end with a round of jumps with my jump rope and make sure I stretch afterwards. It honestly has made me feel like an absolute rockstar, I pretend like I'm a ninja in the night since nobody can see me lol! It's honestly awesome for someone who has anxiety, nobody can see you, you're in the dark! My mom always tells me that it's bad for my lungs but to tell you the truth, it's so much easier and calming to take in the cold crisp air. I don't like feeling burning hot as well, it feels like I'm free. Knowing that I lost my job due to one mistake and taking complete blame for the mistake I've felt pretty crappy these past few days. I probably wouldn't have made it if it weren't for running. I used to not run because of my previous injuries from my car accident where a mother was driving her kids to school and t-boned my sister and I when she was supposed to yield to us. Never in my life did I picture having to deal with legal documents and lawyers etc. at this age but think again! I've never felt so terrible in my life, that happened two years ago and I still have horrendous neck and back pain that it takes over my days and creates barriers to the tasks I want to do but don't have the strength to carry on due to the pain. Running was one of those activities I had to drop. The running was terrible because of my body jumping up and down by putting pressure on the body basically jarring the neck and slamming the spine. The doctor said to take a break from activities that worsen the pain I already have. So I took a break for awhile, I've received physical therapy which made it worse, I've seen an orthopedic for body manipulation and trying to retrain the muscles to regular position. Now I am still in recovery and receiving massage therapy. The whole idea is to release the tension so that the muscles have a chance to move on their own and not feel trapped in the position my body turned when I got in the accident. It's true there really is muscle memory. Therefore, since the pain is starting to reside, just soreness, I've taken on running again and it's absorbing the anxiety I feel at the end of the day. My heart races an awful lot in my day even if I just sit and relax all day. It's hard to get things done to a beating heart in my head that keeps ringing in my ears. So running makes me feel good and also makes my heart race to the point where it is helping me and increasing my endurance. Anywho I'm excited because 2017 is already starting off with a bang. Word of advice, if someone or your boss is treating you like you know nothing and just because you may be lower than them, they have no right to talk to you like you mean nothing. Even if they are so high up above you, they were once in your shoes. Stand up for yourself and tell them how you feel, don't settle for less, you get what you deserve and that's that! You all are extraordinary in each and every aspect of life and don't forget that beautiful souls. Have a wonderful night and I will remember to blog more often! You'll hear from me again the coming week. Get some good rest and wake up tomorrow with a good and positive self intention for the day, start it off right with a good aura! Love you all.

The Lion & The Lamb

It's definitely been a long while since I posted a new blog entry. The truth is, juggling a nanny job, fitness, school, and working on my mental health.. is kind of difficult to say the least. I've been trying to find myself in the process, doing whatever I can to feel a little bit of happiness. I've been keeping up with my art lately and constantly tidying up my room. Whenever I keep a clean room and actually care about what it looks like, I feel calmer when I wake up. I figured out that even though nobody is coming to see my room it still has a heavy impact on my mindset when it's dirty/clean. It makes me feel like I'm caring about myself and my thoughts, instead of pushing my needs back so I can tend to others. Don't get me wrong I love caring for others and I like that trait about myself but sometimes I get so obsessive about others' feelings I disregard my own, and this could go on forever. Thankfully my psychologist a long time ago has pinpointed that quality about me and has taught me coping strategies along the years to remind my mind/body/soul that it is loved.
Since my last entry I've had HUGE hurdles I've had to jump over. Some of these hurdles were harder than others but I made it. The world is always going to find a curveball to throw my way, it's frustrating but that's how life is, a huge game of 'what if'. It's our job as people is to live either as a lion or a lamb.
Today I drew a lion using my favorite form; charcoal. I enjoy using charcoal as my medium because it is the easy to express your feelings throughout the drawing. This was by far my hardest piece yet and it took a few hours, I am extremely proud of myself. I'm proud because it's easy to crumple up the page and throw it away. I get impatient at times because my drawing isn't showing the imagery I want it to. What I'm failing to remind myself is 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' the piece is yours not someone else's. Explaining that into more depth, I mean your mind creates the piece while your eyes visualize it onto paper. Your hands take the tool to recreate the image engraved in your mind; in the end art is created.  It is truly incredible that humans can create such beautiful things. What I find that's interesting is if two people draw an elephant the outcome will look extremely different. Whether one line is placed differently or its only a difference by a hair, each person expresses it in a unique light. I've never been so amazed by art, looking at others' inspiration online doesn't make me jealous but touched. Art touches people deep within their soul and hearts. The idea is looking into the artist's view and trying to understand the perspective and thought process while they were producing it.
So when I say I'm happy with the outcome of my lion, I'm happy with the way my mind created it and how I had the ability to convey it on paper. Art is a way for me to escape, we can never truly empty our minds but for a minute I can hush the negativity. Everyone has their way to escape, and art reminds myself that I am unique, and my art doesn't have to be perfect. Perfect for me means nothing.

Carving Your Path Regardless of Others

Do you remember when you were young and had a mind full of dreams and aspirations? Either you dreamed of being a singer, ballerina, or professional athlete? I always have remembered my dreams, and sometimes my dreams never go away and it bugs me when things or people get in the way of me achieving these dreams. First things first, don't let your friends, parents, teachers, or even significant others influence what YOU choose to do in your life.
Growing up, in school I felt extremely self conscious the older I got. I often let other people/opinions affect the choices and dreams I had. Especially since I grew up not understanding social cues and material in the classroom due to ADD, I often was called stupid; even from my teachers. Year after year I was bullied and teased to the extent that I actually started to believe that I wasn't smart, that something was wrong with me. The one thing that hasn't stopped within me is my dreams, they grow and grow everyday. I always wake up with lists and lists of everything I want to do in my head, it's not the norm and my parents hate it at times...but I cannot stop when I want something. I'm so consumed and obsessed with getting where I want to be NOW. In some ways this is a positive trait for me but in others its extremely negative and can often cause me to go into a deep depression if I don't get there. For instance, I have always dreamed of becoming a singer or actress on a show etc. my parents from day one didn't think it was a good idea because it wasn't a healthy lifestyle. I wanted to become a model in middle school and my parents did not agree because they said that modeling often causes eating disorders. The funny thing is, if my parents or other people who have downgraded my thoughts/dreams were in my head, they would understand that I'm not like them. They're categorizing other peoples' behavior and basing it on me, saying I'll fall in the footsteps of 'those' certain individuals. Yes, it is true that some people who are famous have spiraled and gone down a dark path, but there are others that have chosen to do something good, like starting a charity or spreading awareness due to their fame. I feel like I could've at least given these ideas a chance, except when I was younger my parents influence on me was extremely strong.
Now that I am technically a young adult I thought I would at least get to make my own decisions and be able to spend my own money. Sometimes that isn't the case, it sucks because I want to try and achieve some things that seem out of reach but at the same time if I fail that'll be on me. I'm okay with failing as long as it was my decision in the first place, if someone tells me no before I even make a decision that just makes it ten times harder to deal with the consequences and I want to pursue that idea even more.
Just a reminder, even though your family may or may not have a big influence on you, follow your dreams. If you don't and you listen to everyone else's thoughts/opinions you will be living a life full of regret. Sometimes you have to take the initiative yourself and make a decision that might hurt others you love but in the process you might find yourself. You might discover what you truly love and enjoy doing. Whether you believe in God or not, we were all given a mind and a soul in our bodies. Our minds will think things that other people don't always agree on, it's your choice to listen to your thoughts and act on them or have someone else crush them. This world is big enough for your dreams, keep pushing even if others are pushing back. You don't have to be pulled down by negativity, have it build you up!

The Head & The Heart

Today was a hard day for me, I had to say goodbye to my psychologist of 2 years, my best friend. I've told her basically my whole life and she was my safe zone whenever I needed to spill all my emotions out. The reason I have to move on is she thinks that someone who is more experienced with a mood disorder can help with the sorts of things I'm dealing with now. People change over the years, I understand why she has to go, but I didn't expect to cry so hard. Anyone who talks to a therapist can hopefully relate, once you get to know that person and tell him/her things you don't tell anyone else... you grow more comfortable and more fond of them. That's why this goodbye was one of the hardest yet, she helped me through bullying through high school, held my hand when my ex boyfriend left for the marines, talked over Skype when I missed home in college, and most importantly; she never stopped telling me how special I am. She was like a mom to me, I hate the fact that I have to open up to a different person about my life story...but my head is telling me it makes sense. Like my mom said today, the heart always will hurt when the decision comes to letting go. 

After the ocean of tears that my mom and I made, we left with a hole in our hearts but a step in the right direction. Kind of like saying goodbye to a long distance boyfriend and saying things aren't working out because it's hindering your ability to focus in school etc... It will hurt, yes, but in the end you'll think back and remember how tough the decision was but the fact that YOU made it. On your own you decided what was best for you, even though the choice was difficult and sad, the strength to move forward makes you stronger as a person and that hole in your heart will be mended with a new memory. 

In order to distract myself after a traumatic goodbye, I put my workout clothes on and headed to the gym. It's been a couple weeks since I've been but I knew I had to get rid of this anger/sadness somehow. I started running on the treadmill and I immediately thought "What the hell was I thinking?!" Haha, but then I was like; I came all this way and even drove here, I am not giving up. I haven't gone on a run in a long time because I have knee and back/neck problems from dance and a car wreck. So getting back and running again was such a thrill! The second I reached 1 mile I wanted to stop because this was the time when I lose feeling in my legs. I told myself "after this song I'll take a break." This is such a good method because once the song ends another good song comes on and then I said the same sentence again and again until I reached 2 miles. 2 miles is the total amount I run before I actually lift weights and work on legs, so the warmup I completed raised my stamina and more importantly gave me a boost of self confidence knowing I did it. I completed a difficult challenge by myself and pushed myself. 

To those of you who don't work out a lot and keep saying "I'll go tomorrow," GO! Life is too short and I promise you the day you go and do some sort of exercise you will feel a little happier than you did before your workout. We all know that life is not at all easy, but every single day we get to choose how we want to live our day. 24 hours to do what makes us happy and feel alive again. What do you choose to do in your day? Make a list of goals for your days, whether it's a small one like "get my nails done" or "ride my bike on a trail." Little things that remind you that you are human and you do need to take some time in your day to show yourself love and care. Yes, we all have busy lives, I am a full-time nanny and fitness instructor, my days are crammed, but I know if I don't draw/paint or workout I feel pretty depressed before I go to bed. 

So going back to what I said before, there are tough decisions in everyone's life, whether that's putting your animal down, bringing your 5 yr old to Pre K, or even having to leave your friends due to your parent getting a new job somewhere else. Whether it's big or small, those tough decisions will make it harder to take that step the next day. Leaving a hole in your heart to those you miss, but in your head it will start to make sense. I'm hurting right now, for myself, and those who are struggling with whatever they're going through today. Holes will always be mended, it takes time, patience, love, and care but moving forward is the best choice we got. Making new experiences to replace old ones, they may not be the same, but those people/places will leave a new footprint in your heart and your direction. Wherever life takes you...don't be afraid to go somewhere new or put yourself out there. Remember, you aren't made out of stone, show yourself compassion and care and tell yourself it is okay to feel sad right now. Life is a rollercoaster that may seem never-ending, but we have the choice to take a step back and mend/recuperate whats been hurt. Have a wonderful evening, and love yourself! 

Wonders of Wednesday

Normally, my Wednesday's aren't that exciting since I've usually just been in school. Since I've gotten home from college, I didn't expect to get a job right away. I applied to a few gyms to teach fitness classes and I have an interested manager but it is moving a little slow. I've nannied over the summer and had a care.com account that I never deleted so I decided look to see if there were any jobs available. I immediately received positive responses from families just 5 miles away so that was awesome! I was asked by one family (who seemed to be the perfect fit for me) to come over to do a trial run tonight and meet the kids. I was told that it would be a hit or miss because they were talking to other nannies as well. I was really nervous because I really wanted this job. I went in and just acted like myself because why act like someone else? Each and every person on this planet is special :) I was sweating hardcore but at the same time I felt pretty good about things before I left. I hope they felt the same way about me. I'm excited because I get to come back tomorrow and layout a schedule!
When I left and said my goodbyes to the kids I was walking to my car. I got a text that set me a little off because it was one of those texts that punches you in the heart. It brought me into a deep sadness and I was totally depressed when I came home. I shared it with my mom and she was wondering why I was giving this person so much power. She also was asking why it's getting to me and ruining the big accomplishment I just received. I was pissed that it was making me forget what just happened, I GOT A GREAT JOB! It's hard to move on from something bad in your day, I don't know if that's just me or... But I tend to have really good things happen in my day and then one little tiny thing happens and BOOM explosion.
Sometimes I wish we didn't have feelings because that often gets in the way, but we aren't robots and that wouldn't be fun. I figured out that even though it'll be hard to remind myself, I just have to tell myself that there will be people out there that try and bring you down. If they bring you down then they win, if you don't allow them to affect you and brush it off, then they don't have the power. Right now I'm reminding myself of all the accomplishments I have made throughout my day. I'm going to start writing out a list before I go to bed each night, writing down the good things about my day and accomplishments big or small. Whether that's getting my nails done, showering, walking the dog, etc. I'm going to end my day on a good note, you should try it too!

Emotions; Friends or Foes?

Whether coping with a mental/emotional disorder or not everyone can use a little guidance with their emotions, including me. By writing these blog posts it is a helpful tool for me to move forward in a positive direction with my life. If you struggle immensely with your emotions don't think it's because you're weird or crazy, you're body's just thrown off the tracks right now, but you can find your way back on that path. Just like if you were performing a dance on the stage and you fell down, you always get right back up. That might've been a not so good performance but the next time will always be a step up from your last. So the next time you have a bad moment in your day or react in a way that sets you off balance.. recuperate, and take a step back, assess the situation, and remind yourself it was only a little bump in your path. There will always be bumps along your road, there might be bigger ones than others but remember there is always a finishing line. Just like runners, there will always be a faster runner than you in the race, the goal is not to get there first but the quality on how you run the race. Will you go too fast and trip and fall? Or will you act too cautious and finish too slow? Or will you run the race the best that you can without fearing that the other will pass you? Will you keep running to feel the sensation when you finish that line? Will you win for yourself?

Life may feel like a race sometimes, but in reality the idea is to get wherever you're heading at the pace that works best for you. How this ties in with working with your emotions is some may not struggle with the same thing as you, some may say "why are you so sensitive?" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that about myself. You do not need to have a mental health disorder to struggle with emotions. Life is unpredictable and will throw curveballs, emotions are thrown off by taking on a lot of stress. The body's way to deal with that stress is through face-to-face contact with another person, to reboot the nervous system so to speak. This is why reaching out to a trusted psychologist is a good start to a healthy life or someone you simply trust.